Owning the Penn State tragedy

And so we say goodbye to an icon in college football. Yesterday was the first game in 359 years that Joe Pa did not coach the football game for Penn State. If you haven't heard as to why this was, well, then Patrick from Sponge Bob must be your roommate. (Patrick lives under a rock you see, and so, apparently, do you) 

All you have had to do over this past week is turn on a tv or listen to the radio and you heard of the tragedy at Penn State. We have certainly not heard the end of this one. Nor should we. The humor I use inthis note is in no way meant to make light of what happened there. It is a huge tragedy and it points to one of the biggest problems we have in America- and the world beyond- the abuse of children. Certainly there is nothing at all funny about that.

I have an image of Joe Paterno in my mind and it is how I hope to always remember him. A few years ago they did a commercial showing different Big 10 coaches speaking into the camera as if they were trying to recruit a highly touted high school athelete. Paterno stole the commercial. He looks at the camera, hands clenched, looking like he is about to jump off the couch, and way too enthusiastically growls/shouts COME TO PENN STATE!!!!

It was, and is, awesome. I was inspired and almost signed up on the spot. Until I realized that no team is looking for a bald, over 40 white dude that is 30 pounds overweight. But if they did... I would have gotten on that bus! 

The Joe Pa I want to remember was the coolest grandpa ever. Seriously, this dude is 143 and is still coaching football?!?! I was convinced that the real Joe Pa had actually died years ago and the guy on the sideline was either a:

robot

cyborg

clone

Any of the 3 options is very cool. I seem to recall that a few years ago a player ran into him on the sideline and broke his leg or something. Let's face it, for most octogenarians that would confine them to a nursing home pronto and screaming "I've fallen, and I...." yah, you get it.

Not Joe Pa. Legend has it that after breaking his leg they actually let him play in the game as a running back and he gained 123 yards. 

And now this. A scandal. Shame. A firing. Who didn't think that Joe Pa wouldn't go out on his own terms? He could have coached another 10 years. They would have let him coach from the nurising home. 

Now I will make it known that I am no fan of Penn State, but how couldn't you be a Joe Pa fan? 

And today the sentiment is "How could you be?"

To recap the tragi-scandal, one of Joe Pa's assistant coaches- Jerry Sandusky- was caught molesting a 10 year old boy... 10 years ago. 

Another coach on Joe Pa's staff allegedly came into the shower and saw Sandusky and the boy naked in the showers and something inappropriate was going on. He reported it to Joe Pa and Joe Pa reported it to his boss. Not much more was done after that. 

I don't know what was going on in the shower. I don't know what the person reporting the abuse saw and I don't want to. There are certain images that I don't want in my head. I don't need to know. Neither do you. But we are a society based on the sensational, and I'm sure there are thousands of people who have dug up and read all the disgusting details. 

Based on the reports I have heard, the reporting coach reported the incident to Joe Pa as "horseplay". Does this let Joe Pa off the hook at all? Well, here is more to the story unfortunately. Then ask the question again.

Sandusky had started a charity involving children. I'm sure that people thought he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart. Now we know otherwise. He was, and is, a predator. Much of his motivation seemed to be to find other boys to abuse to feed his dark desires. This went on for years. 

Now a couple of clarifiers. This man, Sandusky, has not yet been convicted of anything, but he has been arrested and there are dozens of charges against him. I am not aware of any of those that were abused stepping up yet- at least to the media- and I wouldn't blame them if they never do. At first Penn State released press releases saying the allegations were unfounded and they were confident they would be found to be false. 

Now they are running as far and as fast as possible from all involved. Typical. They had a chance to stop this and they blew it. 

It is very popular right now to quote "Everything happens for a reason" when something bad happens. Spare me the bull this time. Yeah, this did happen for a reason. One man's desire got twisted and distorted and he preyed upon little boys. He didn't or couldn't control it. Does it matter which one is more accurate? I bet his victims dont' care. 

If somebody did this to one of my 4 children... I would want to kill them. I can not argue against castration. Harsh?

You bet. 

Do you realize that some studies suggeest that 1 in 3 girls is sexually abused and 1 in 7 boys? The word "tragedy" seems way too weak of a word to describe this atrocity. One report I saw said that child pornography makes 3 billion dollars annually. Dear God. 

What in the hell happened to Jerry Sandusky? Was he abused? Was he exposed to pornography at an early age? 

Does it matter? YES. 

We need to figure out how people end up like this. It is very easy to get caught up in the fringe debates of this story:

Should Joe Pa have been fired?

Will Joe Pa go to prison?

What will happen to Penn State's program?

What more should Joe Pa have done?

But lets not ignore the center of the story. We can get lost inthe media uproar. We can have the meaningless arguments. But let's not forget the tragedy and what we can do to stop it. 

How many pedophiles were exposed to porn- just good old fashioned sex being depicted in magazines and videos- at a young age? Usually there is a progression to things like this. Almost every adult has seen some type of porn. Guys (and sometimes women) start watching porn and they get bored with it. They rarely see it and stay away from it because it seems tacky and exploitative. But for others- it catches them. They want more and more and more. And for some of them- it takes a dark twist. Their lust intertwines with some pain or memory in them- and they turn to children to fulfill their desires. 

I don't often buy the line "Everything happens for a reason" and certainly not in this situation, but... there can be positive things that CAN spring from this. 

We need to own this. In a few months another story will catch our ears. We will have a new tragedy to be shocked over and feel bad about. By reacting this way, we make sure that nothing every changes. We just keep surfing the sensational to keep ourselves from being bored, and it makes us feel better to be outraged about something every now and again. 

But you can do something. Find a group against human trafficking. Help them. Donate. Volunteer at homes for abused women. I'm sure there are many other things you can do.

My biggest challenge is this. Stop watching and buying porn. I believe that it contributes to the problem. I am not saying that all pornographers contribute to or film child porn. Few would deny that having a child view hardcore porn is a healthy thing. Having more porn and more readily available is a BAD thing. I should know. Having an addiction to porn (only adult stuff, by the way) tore apart my marriage. 

I have tried my best to stay away, and hearing stories like this only strenghtens my resolve. So please, don't just play the "white guilt game" and feel bad about this. Have the courage to do something.  As they say- people don't try and sell stuff there is no market for.

Lovely Autumn

The rain and the wind slowly but inevitably rob the trees of their splendor. In a matter of weeks we will see nothing but cold barren skeletons that only serve to remind us of the beauty that has been stripped away. Like a gorgeous woman whose beauty has slowly been eroded, scrubbed away by the sands of time to leave an old wrinkled hag, a faint and distant echo of what she once was. The colors of the leaves themselves are a harbinger of death themselves, the radiance of the fall kaliedascope simply a thin veiling of the death the leaves are experiencing. Their short lives are coming to an end. They hang on stubbornly but eventually die and wither, falling to the ground to be deliciously crunched and oblitereted, and often, burned.

The gray skies are starting to become more and more common, echoing the moods and outlooks of the people the dismal weather affects. The cold, wet rain is driven by the angry winds coming out of the north, not so subtly hinting at the freezing tempatures that lie just a few weeks out. The sun feels like a stranger, it is rare and surprising when it shows up. It carries little of the warmth we remember, it is a friend that we have grown away from and we wonder if we overestimated the relationship.

A funereal pall is cast over our lives. We can only watch in sorrow as the warmth and light flees the area for another deadening, soul-sucking winter. Soon the streets will be full of dirty, frozen slush. We will feel the wind biting our exposed skin and making a mockery of our attempts to ward it off. We will step into a icy puddle of water, soaking our shoes and socks. White knuckles will grab steering wheels, as if clenching it will increase the grip of our tires on the icy roads. It is coming soon.

Winter. We have chosen to live here so we have no right to complain. We must endure, if we can, another 6 months of everything being cold and wet. The world turns to black and white, the color fleeing with the warmth and sun.

Heating bills will be opened in great trepidation. We will wish and dream and hope before we see the astronomically inflated number. We will turn down the thermostat and swear to bundle up, until it is so cold in our homes that we don't even dare to leave the semi-warmth of the blankets we are bundled under. Than we return to the thermostat and hope that somehow the energy company makes a mistake.

We wake in darkness, drive to work in darkness and when we head home, again, darkness. There is no reason to go outdoors. Going outside feels like an expidition, requiring a ridiculous amount of clothing and preparation. Gone are the days when you can run outside barefoot with a t-shirth on. Taking the trash out becomes a real chore.

Winter isn't just a season, it is an oppressive, depressing presence seeking to smother us all in despair.

Thanks for reading! Have a great day!!!!!