This is not what I wanted to write about today. I had planned on spending some time writing, but certainly not about this. But given the scope of this recent tragedy, and having the day off, it would feel wrong to write about anything else. I had thought about my other topic. Was excited about it even. I had all sorts of righteous points to make, witty things (at least to me) to say and as always, a dash of humor here and there. It was thought out and designed to make you think as well.
This piece will not be like that.
This is a simple reaction to the killings that happened today. I have not thought through it all. It is just a raw, emotional response. Judge me if you must, but this is a jumble of thoughts and emotions rushing through my mind and emotions.
When I first heard the story, it was a bit after 1 or so. I was getting ready to go work out. There was a blurb about something on Yahoo about a person being shot in a school in Connecticut. To be honest, it didn't catch my full attention. Yes, it is sad, but I was relieved it wasn't something bigger. Still a tragedy, but in the back of my mind I figured a distraught guy came in and shot his wife who happened to be a teacher or something like that. The initial report I heard was that it was one person who had been shot multiple times. I hoped that the person was still alive and then, honestly, it left my mind.
Until I got to the gym. I was working on my cardio and half reading and half watching some inane program called "The Chew". Really? I would normally spend a few sentences ragging on the lack of creativity about such an insipid sounding show, but not today. As a show about chewing can't really hold my attention, I went back to reading for a bit. When I looked back at the TV...
There is was. The far too familiar of a helicopter shot. It was "LIVE!!!!" footage from the school. The initial estimate was waaaaay off. They know though there were 27 dead. 27! Suddenly it had my full attention. There are about 15 different screens in my gym and the story was playing on about half of them. A few were set to ABC and a few to NBC. The others were on ESPN. Now, I'm not blaming anyone, but it was very disconcerting to see the NOT Top 10 plays in the sporting world showing alongside the pictures of crying children being led through a parking lot.
Of course at first you are stunned. "Am I seeing this correctly?? How could this have happened again?"
And then came my follow up thoughts. Christmas is forever altered and in many/most cases, ruined for those families. Dear God, somebody is going to have to return those presents that were bought for those kids. Can you even begin to imagine doing that??? Even seeing them after this settles down after a few days? After the media have all gone home and the families that have lost their precious children are left in a vacuum of grief? There sit the presents. And just like all of us, much thought went into the purchasing of those gifts. Parents had already pictured the expressions on the faces of those who would be opening them. Such heart rending loss I can not even pretend to comprehend.
But all of this will get lost in the next few hours, days and weeks. First we get the media storm. This is a big deal. This is what they get paid to do. Our screens will be filled with the faces of grim looking reporters. They will rehash information we have heard multiple times, but we will listen, hoping to learn something new. For we are Americans, and we will want justice. One of these bastards is apparently still alive and damn it, WE WANT ANSWERS!!!
And we will get some. Enough to pacify us until this story blurs into the past like all the others. The Colorado shooting in the movie theater, Columbine, Tuscon, Fort Hood and so many others. Towns and places and names of people we would most likely have never heard of except for that they were in the wrong place at the proverbial wrong time. And now Sandy Hook elementary school is added to the list that is way too long already.
There will be experts. They will give us their official opinions. We will see statistics. There will be railing about gun control. We need more guns, we need less guns. We need better security. This will go on for days. It will be the lead story in every news show, it will be splashed across every newspaper. And none of it will help to prevent this from happening again. For haven't we already been down this path so many times? All of the opinions and anger didn't prevent today.
I wish I had answers. If only I was smart enough to figure this all out. What I really hate is that some people will use this to advance themselves. They will exploit the tragedy to get on TV. And maybe that is part of the problem? I am torn between the natural desire to share news such as this. For everyone to know. But isn't the media part of this problem?
Let's not be naive. There are many, many different moving pieces to this. But let's look at a few:
The media: is it just me or does anyone else see some of the media like a bunch of sharks? There is blood in the water and they swarm faster than anything on the planet. They all want the scoop, all want the breaking story. Also slightly reminiscent of vultures. I have already seen the picture that will define today's shootings. It is a picture of a young woman sobbing while speaking into a cell phone. She is hunched over and the look of dismay on her face cuts to your soul.
Now, I do understand the importance of awareness. I do not think we should be ignorant of these happenings. But we have heard before from instances like this that one of the driving factors of some of these lunatics is that they know they their faces will be known across the nation and even the globe.
Guns: Why in the hell does anyone need a semi-automatic pistol??? Or other semi-automatic weapons? I don't get it, I really don't. Now calm down gun people, I support the 2nd amendment. I think we should have the right to bear arms. It is foolish to think we are going to rid America of all guns anyway. There is some truth to the archaic argument that if we outlaw guns... We are a nation that loves power and firearms and there will always be a large percentage of Americans who want the right to own any gun they want to have. And the last thing I want is the government trying to take guns away from people. I wish guns could have a sanity detector on them. Why would you ever want to shoot a child?
Violent culture: Are we really surprised this continues to happen? I'm not. We are a culture that adores violence. Some of our most popular games involve shooting people. Millions of people practice shooting fake images every day. They love it. "Oooh! A head shot! Did you see his body fly back???"
And the movies. I get seriously concerned when there is a genre of movies called "Torture porn". Movies that exist simply to show all the different ways to mutilate a human body. The Saw franchise, Human Centipede and Hostel to name a few.
Yup, I get it. Free speech. And 98% of all that watch these movies and play these games would never hurt another person. And for some they are fuel for the madness and rage that grows daily within them.
We know what we are going to find out about the shooters, right? Haven't we seen this movie already?
so
many
times?
Quiet, a loner, seemed pretty nice mostly. But not really surprised they snapped. History of violence, mental illness, etc, etc.
I am not advocating banning these types of entertainment. Again, I don't know what the answers are. I just want to identify what some of the ingredients of this horrific events are.
Us: Can we start to take mental illness seriously? Can we start to take parenting seriously? Can we be aware of when our children are literally crying out? Apparently the shooter tweeted that he was depressed and wished he just had somebody to talk to. How do we keep missing this stuff?
Let's commit to not getting sucked into all the side arguments that will follow in the wake of this tragedy. Let's not argue on Facebook about gun control and government involvement and which party is ultimately responsible.
Instead, let's all hold our loved ones for a significant moment or two today. Let's look into the eyes, right into their eyes and let them know how we feel about them. For if there is one thing we can all agree on, life is shorter than we ever want it to be. There are no worse tragedy than children being slaughtered.
May we learn to be more vocal about our love. May we live life more fully. May we do more playing and less watching TV.
For there are a couple of dozen parents today who won't care about all the arguing.
They only wish they were able to have a normal Christmas.
Like we get to have.
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